Jealous
by blinkie
Summary: Chapter 4 up: Taki x Shuichi: The Downward Spiral. This entire story is a collection of oneshots on jealousy in the Gravitation world. More pairings to come. Rated for language.
1. Taki x Makun: I Thought You Loved Me

**Summary: **Taki/Ma-kun angst fic. Rated for language. No graphic scenes. I know there are a lot of Taki haters out there. If you're one of them, you're free to read on but PLEASE - no flames. This is dedicated to all Taki fans out there. J

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation nor its characters. They are the property of Maki Murakami.

**Jealous**

From the shadows of the bar, Aizawa Taki watched.

He, the lonely boy from Osaka who had grown up to be one of the most popular singers in Japan, watched the raven-haired beauty stride across the wide dance floor. Gone was the usual grace that suffused her movements. Her body jerked angrily as she pushed through the gyrating crowd. Taki followed her furious gaze and his brows drew together in dismay. At the edge of the dance floor stood Ma-kun and a stunning redhead Taki recognized as the half-American, half-Japanese supermodel Reiko Thompson. From his vantage point the could see enough of laughing pair to notice Ma-kun's arm encircling her waist possessively; and she, dressed in an ultra-short gold minidress, brushing his bangs off his forehead tenderly. Ma-kun then leaned over and whispered something in her ear, and she laughed - loudly, Taki assumed; from where he sat the bass of DJ Tiesto's _Forbidden Paradise_ drowned out all sound - as the people nearby turned to look.

_Uh oh,_ Taki thought, eyes flicking back to the livid girl he'd been watching. _You're gonna get it._

The drama would unfold predictably, Taki knew. In the music scene filled with hypocrisies, betrayal, and superficiality, he'd seen this scene hundreds of times - and had the unfortunate luck to be on the receiving end of an angry woman's hand as well. Yet he possessed an inherent taste for the destructive and so, despite knowing the inevitable outcome, he continued to watch.

"Three…two…one," he murmured. "Blast off."

The music pounded in his ears but he imagined he heard her shrill voice curse him; his surprised reply; and the jarring slap her hand marked on his cheek. He watched with dry amusement as the bystanders immediately moved back then gathered 'round just as quickly. This is a phenomenon Taki has observed to occur when the involved are celebrities and important people. And yes, the trio were big deals: the guitarist of the widely-publicized band ASK; an international supermodel; and the heiress to Japan's largest shipyards and highly-controversial starlet as well.

_And this last one - rich, talented, and spoiled beyond imagination - my ex-girlfriend Nanako, _Taki knocked another shot of vodka back and watched the scene with bleary eyes.

The crowd surrounding the three began to fidget excitedly. Given the volume of people Taki could no longer see the full tableau but he imagined - no, _knew_ - she was prepping up for another slap. Both standing a head taller than everyone else, Reiko looked alarmed while Ma-kun obviously was confused.

A camera flashed. A slight flurry of activity in the middle of the circle. His ex-beloved had lunged at the camera owner. Then as if on cue, several burly men in black suits pushed through the crowd and formed a protective circle around the girl. As they ushered her out, the crowd parted automatically.

_That's right._ Taki thought. _Don't mess with 'em goons. They bite._

Nanako and her bodyguards came close enough for Taki to see she was crying. He dropped his gaze and watched her from beneath his lashes. _I know how you feel,_ he wanted to run after her and say, but he never had been an empathic person. And besides, given her desperate pleas for him to stay, he had coldheartedly left her for the man she just slapped. That man who had professed love and loyalty to Taki. Taki's comfort would only insult her.

The crowd dispersed. Already he saw little groups whispering and darting curious glances at Ma-kun and Reiko. Taki turned to the bartender and signaled for two more shots, and he waited for the inevitable.

"What the fuck man?" Taki expected anger, but all he heard was a mixture of puzzlement and annoyance - the kind of tone reserved for days when the car won't start or the rain pours on a sunny day.

"What's her problem? I made it clear from the start that we weren't serious - and now she gets mad at me for flirting with another girl? Geez!" Ma-kun slid into the stool next to Taki. "'How could you?', she says. What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

Taki pushed him a shot glass. "That's why you shouldn't date my girls…"

"Please, we do it all the time." The blond knocked back his shot. "Don't tell me you were serious about that little skank?" He rolled his eyes.

"…and afterwards steal me away from them."

Ma-kun gave him a sidelong look. "What are you saying?"

Taki sipped his drink. "These fuckin love triangles, love _polygons_ you drag me in, they're fucked."

Ma-kun forced a laugh. "What, so you're saying you're ready to settle down and live the straight life?'

Taki suppressed an urge to throttle him. "I'm not the blond playboy the tabloids are talking about."

Ma-kun ordered two more shots before turning to Taki with a grin. "Hey, it comes with the lifestyle. It's just for fun. Lighten up."

_All this after you said you loved me. You haven't changed at all. _Ma-kun's presence suddenly seemed suffocating, and Taki looked away only to see Reiko coming towards them, worry etched on her face. He exhaled noisily and stood. Ma-kun looked up, surprised.

"Where you goin'?"

"Looks like your Cinderella's come to pick you up." Taki tilted his head in her direction. "And I don't want to get in the way of your _fun_," he added with dripping sarcasm.

Ma-kun frowned at her approach, and she stopped in her tracks, giving him a confused look. He relented and held up a hand, signaling her to wait. She nodded and turned away. Ma-kun turned back to Taki, obviously peeved.

"Oi, Tachi, what's the matter with you? You're in a shit mood tonight."

What _**was**_ the matter with him? Maybe seeing Nanako brought back bad memories. Or maybe it was Ma-kun hanging with that bitch model when tonight was his and Taki's date. Perhaps Ma's 'devil-may-care' attitude pissed him. Or maybe he simply felt foolish for believing that fateful

"I love you" from Ma-kun.

"You just don't get it. You're fuckin' dumb." Taki sneered. He slapped three ¥10,000 bills onto the bar. "Drinks on me. Go and play with your princess." Without looking back, he walked away. That feeling he dared not acknowledge, it was gnawing him. But Taki silenced it. He didn't need anyone; and certainly not someone who breaks his heart every time he walks out the door with a giggling pretty plaything draped on his arm.

He was at the door when he heard a voice call him. That voice he knew so well and so long; that voice that crooned sweet nothings into his ear at night.

"Tachi! Oi, Tachi, wait up!"

Ah, jealousy. They all had their ways of dealing. Nanako bitched and slapped. Ma-kun snaked away whoever he wanted. And Taki - he ran.

-END-

I hope you liked it! Please review. Thanks J

I'm thinking of making this a multi-chaptered fic on Gravi characters dealing with jealousy. What do you think:)


	2. Mika x Tohma: Understand Me Too

"**Jealous"** is a collection of one-shots on jealousy in the Gravitation world. This is the second installment, a **Mika x Tohma** fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own Gravitation and/or any of its characters. They belong to Maki Murakami.

-----------

Except for the dim glow of the hall lights, the house was dark when Tohma entered. He hung his coat and hat on the rack by the doorway and walked quietly up the stairs. As he approached the bedroom, he saw a figure standing in the doorway.

"Mika." He stated matter-of-factly. "You shouldn't have waited. Go back to sleep now." He stepped forward, but Mika blocked his way. She glared at him, and he stared calmly back.

"This is the fourth night in a row you've come home this late."

"Is it. No wonder my eyes are falling shut already." He smiled perfunctorily and tried to move around her. "Excuse me, please." But Mika stood her ground.

"Mika," he said sternly. "It's been a long day, and I want to sleep."

She took a step forward and sniffed, frowning.

"That's not your perfume, Tohma." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Where have you been?"

His eyes flashed. "Probably I've been to the mall to buy myself a new bottle."

She looked hurt, but she pressed on.

"Isn't that…" She tried to swallow. "…Sakuma's perfume?"

Tohma nodded curtly. "So it is. And your point?"

Mika opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Lowering her gaze, she finally stepped aside. Tohma entered the bedroom, taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Mika watched this in apathetic silence. Then, as if waking from sleep, she shook her head vigorously and stomped inside, planting herself directly in front of him.

"_Why_ are you doing this to me, Tohma? What did I ever do to deserve this?" Her bloodshot eyes sparked with anger.

Tohma calmly met her glare. "Doing what, Mika?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me! Keeping me up worrying about you, ignoring my phone calls, ignoring _me_, why are you doing this?!"

Tohma spread his hands elegantly. "I've been busy, that's all."

"Busy!" She exploded. "Busy doing what? Busy with your record label, your bands? Or busy messing with Sakuma Ryuichi?" Her lower lip began to quiver, and she bit down hard. "Too damn busy for your own wife?" She spat out.

Tohma turned away, running his hands through his hair. "Yes, I am busy with NG and yes, ASK and a slew of other bands are taking all my time to manage." He deliberately ignored the question on Ryuichi. "Please understand, Mika. You knew what you were getting into when you married me."

"Understand?" She repeated with wide-eyed incredulity. "Oh you did _not_ say that. You're telling _me_ to understand?" Her hand slammed against the dresser. Tohma winced at the sound, shutting his eyes in irritation.

"Are you so blind that you don't see how far I've 'understood' you! I know that you married me just to get close to Eiri! Don't you _fucking_ tell me to understand because I've been _doing_ that since day one! I'm way over my head understanding you!" Tears brimmed in her eyes and she impatiently swiped at them.

"Mika, can you lower your voice? I'm getting a headache." He rubbed his forehead.

"It's time you opened your eyes and see me, Tohma," she continued relentlessly. "_I'm_ your wife. _I_ should be priority in everything you do. Not your bitches at NG, not your damn record company, not anything but _me._"

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Tohma began walking away. Mika's hand hit the dresser again.

"I'm not done Tohma! Come back here _now_."

"I suddenly remembered." His voice was dripping with false cheer. "I need to get back to the office." He stopped at the valet and took a fresh handkerchief out. She caught up to him and grabbed his sleeve angrily.

"Get _back_? You just got home!"

"There's an important record deal later, and I need to wash the windows and polish the tables," Tohma replied rudely.

"What?! Wash the -- are you _serious_?"

He gave a short mirthless chuckle. "That'll be the day. But in any case, I doubt I'll find any peaceful sleep here. Now excuse me." He tried to brush her hand off, but she gripped him tighter.

"Tohma…" A tear slid down her cheek.

"Yes?" He looked over his shoulder, green eyes sparking with anger. Mika involuntarily took a step back. Nothing in his gaze suggested the presence of the sweet, angelic man she had married years ago.

"Nothing." She released him and turned away, hugging herself. "Go away, and leave, like you always do."

And even after the car's diabolic shriek died down, she continued to hold herself in the gloom.

- end -

**Author's note:** How'd you like this? I always felt for Mika and the weird situation she's in. Please read and review! And I'm open to suggestions on the next pairing you'd like to see subjected to angst. I've actually written a Ryu x Tohma already and will be posting soon!


	3. Ryuichi x Tohma: I'm Second Place Now

This is the third chapter for **Jealous. **Although a standalone like all the chapters in this fics, it appears linked to the 2nd chapter. You can read it that way too. Enjoy! J

**Pairing: **Tohma x Ryuichi

**Word Count: **614

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation nor it characters. They belong to Maki Murakami.

----

It was stressful morning at NG for Seguchi Tohma. Normally, upstart bands, lower-than-usual record sales, and overbooked tour dates did not ruffle the President, but an early-morning argument with Mika had escalated into a full-blown verbal war, and Mika had gotten into the car and sped off to god-knows-where. Thus, a horribly skewed day. And so, when the intercom beeped despite his strict instructions, he jabbed it vehemently.

"Miori."

"Uhm, s-sir, call on line one please…"

"Didn't I tell you I'm not to be disturbed today?"

"U-uhm…it's Sakuma-san sir, and you said--"

"Never mind what I said. This will be the last time. Put another call through and you're fired."

"I'm really sor--"

Tohma released the button, cutting her off in mid-sentence, and stared at the phone balefully. Such bad timing. He took a few slow breaths and when he felt calm enough to answer, he picked up the phone.

"Hello, Ryuichi? --"

"Tohmaaaa!!!" Came the boisterous reply. Grimacing, Tohma held the receiver away from his ear. Even then he could still hear the loud chatter. After a count of five he eased the receiver back.

"Ryuichi, stop."

"Hm? Tohma-kun?"

"What exactly did you call for?" He tried to keep his tone polite.

"It's a special day today Tohma-kun! Extra-super-_very_ special! So Kuma and I are taking you to dinner at eight later, okay? Okay!" Ryuichi answered himself happily.

"I…don't recall having made plans with you tonight." Tohma glanced at his calendar and confirmed his statement.

A manic giggle rose from the other end. "Of course you don't! We didn't make any! It's a surprise!"

Tohma sighed heavily. "You should ask me before you make any plans. I'm busy, and I have so many matters to attend to."

"Huuuh, like what?" That cute whine Tohma usually found endearing grated on his nerves now.

"Well. Managing my company, for one. It's a 24-hour job. Producing ASK and a slew of other bands. Interviews, TV appearances. This isn't three years ago."

"But Toh-Toh, you have people to do, duh. C'mon, it's your favorite restaurant. And," he whispered, as if conveying the deepest secret, "I reserved the entire restaurant for us."

Tohma managed a smile. "Well, thank you Ryuichi, but I really can't tonight. Mika and I got into a fight, and I don't know where she is right now. What about tomorrow night? I'll handle the reservations, don't worry."

"It has to be tonight. Please?"

"…No. Tomorrow night. I promise."

A long silence from Ryuichi's end. Then: "Before I left, you were never too busy for me. But now I'm back, and I'm second to everything. Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Ryuichi --"

"Bye!!!" Tohma cringed at the shout, and heard a click from the other end.

Tohma reluctantly replaced the receiver. Suddenly he felt bone-weary. The spacious office seemed claustrophobic, and he decided it would be in everyone's best interest if he took the day off. He left the office, ignoring the secretary who visibly cringed at the sight of him, and headed for the elevators. As he approached, he noticed a bouquet of exquisite red long-stemmed roses laying across the mouth of the trash can and a bunch of brightly colored balloons floating from inside it. Curious, he peeked inside the can and saw a gift-wrapped box around which the balloons had been tied.

_What a waste, _he thought, eyeing the beautiful roses. South American Leonidas, he was sure. The same roses used on his wedding day.

He pressed the elevator button.

As Tohma waited for the elevator, a balloon spun lazily around. He looked up. Emblazoned in loud pink were the words:

_HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOHMA-TOHMA!!!_

Damn. And he'd forgotten all about it.

**-end-**

**Author's Note:** Forgetting anniversaries and special days has been a sometime ailment of mine.


	4. Taki x Shuichi: The Downward Spiral

-1This is the fourth installment of **Jealous**. This focuses on **Taki x Shuichi.** Shuchi does not make an appearance here except briefly on the TV.

**Summary:** Taki self-destructs under pressure and envy.

**Warnings:** Language.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gravitation nor its characters. They belong to Maki Murakami.

**Word Count:** 1411

------

Listening in the sound tech's booth as Taki belted out their most popular single, Ma-kun winced as he hit another sour note. It was bad enough that the singer's suave voice had taken on a ragged edge since last week. Now, two flops in the one-hour session - normal and acceptable for most singers, but Taki was not "most singers". Described by the papers as "belonging to a league graced only by a select talented few" (_Tokyo Times_)and "a sheer aural orgasmic experience" (_Rockzone_), the vocalist _never _missed a note. A notorious perfectionist and the epitome of the type-A personality, he often berated his bandmates when they arrived even a minute late or took more than one day to memorize the music sheets.

Despite founding ASK, Ma-kun gladly surrendered the band's leadership to Taki. Their successes - rocketing from the underground to the forefront of Japan's music scene - could mostly be attributed to Taki's stubbornness and sheer determination to be number one. Thus, it was no question why Ma-kun found Taki's lackluster performance odd.

The song ended. The technician glanced at Ma, waiting for further instruction. Ma looked through the clear fiberglass at Taki. His eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell rapidly. Ma shook his head and brought his hand down in a decisive chop. The technician nodded.

"Thank you Aizawa-san, good job. Let's take a break," he spoke into the microphone. Taki's eyes snapped open.

Ma stood and waved at Taki, beckoning him over, and walked to the door to meet the singer.

"Tachi." He said when Taki stepped out. "What happened?"

"Where?" A sullen smoldering look.

"Inside, weirdo." Ma rolled his eyes. "You sounded worse than a dying cat in heat."

Taki grunted.

"Excruciating." Ma grinned lopsidedly. "Prob'ly you're just tired. Let's wrap up, grab a beer, and--"

"I'm not tired!" Taki exploded. In the small outer booth, his voice boomed. The technician glanced at them, startled, then just as quickly ducked his head, fiddling with the dials of the synthesizer in front of him.

Ma-kun put his hands up in front of his chest. "Whoah man. Don't bite my head off. I'm just saying." He peered at Taki. Bloodshot eyes glowered back. "Seriously, you were off in there. You okay?"

"I'm fine, if you stop your idiotic questions," Taki spat. "Leave me alone."

Taken aback, Ma-kun stepped back as the singer stalked past, making a beeline for the lounge across the room and flipping the television on. Hunched in front of the TV, Taki channel-surfed with a deep scowl on his face. The look on his face was positively murderous.

Steeling himself, Ma headed for the lounge. He had known Taki all his life and knew better than to approach the singer in one of his black moods but this couldn't be helped. The concert was only three days away.

Opening the small corner refrigerator, Ma took out two cans of orange soda. "Hey Tachi, catch." He casually tossed one to Taki, whose gaze remained fixed on the television. The can grazed his hand and dropped to the floor. Ma-kun rolled his eyes.

"You dweeb, you were supposed to _catch_ that." He flopped onto the couch beside Taki.

Taki gave him a sidelong glance. "Who asked for your stupid soda? I'll get it when I want it." His eyes flashed.

"Boy, someone's in a shit mood." Ma popped the can open and took a deep draught, turning his gaze to the television.

Taki had settled on a hilarious old game show called _Takeshi's Castle. _On the screen,a girl tried to cross a rope bridgewhile dodging giant foam cannonballs. She was halfway across when one hit her on the shoulder. She staggered and tottered precariously before falling off, arms flailing as she splashed in the water below. Ma slapped his thigh as he guffawed. "Oh snap, Tachi, did you see that? What the fuck are those behemoth cheering samurai on the riverbank? It's so stupid!"

Taki didn't reply.

Deflating, Ma stole a glance at him. Something was wrong. It wasn't only that Taki didn't have a smart comeback ready. He looked unwell too. His face was pale. Dark half-moons ringed under his eyes. A tic throbbed over his left eye. And the hand gripping the remote so tight the knuckles were white - that hand would not stop trembling.

Concerned, he moved close to Taki, whose gaze never shifted from the screen.

"Hey man." He put a tentative hand on the singer's shoulder. "I know I'm pushing it, but I'm worried. Haven't been sleeping well lately?"

Finally Taki turned. He met Ma's gaze with a narrow, appraising look. Ma arched an eyebrow in question but held his tongue. After a long moment Taki blinked and his face melted into a sardonic smile. "Bingo. You win the grand prize."

Ma relaxed. It was good to see him smile, even sarcastically. "Well…care to tell me about it?" He grinned. "Wait, lemme guess. That model dumped you again, eh? I tell you, don't lose sleep over those skanks. They're a dime a dozen."

Instead of sharing the humor, Taki's mouth tightened with that calculating stare again. Finally, he barked a short laugh and stood up. "Boy, you don't get it. You honestly don't fuckin' get it! I can see it in your eyes. Blonds sure are dumb."

Ma stood as well, heart fluttering in anxiety. He could care less for that laugh. Only homeless bums and crazy people could laugh like that. "What are you talkin' about?"

"Right in front of your face, Ma-kun. Can't you see it? Are you blind as well as dumb?" His eyes narrowed into slits. "Fuckin' retard. That two-bit whore, I'm going to kill him."

"Tachi!" Ma grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Oi! You're creeping me out. What the fuck's wrong with you!"

Just then, _Takeshi's Castle _cut to a commercial. A familiar upbeat song blasted out the speakers - Japan's number one hit, "Rage Beat" by Bad Luck. Played nonstop on MTV and a couple of dozen times on every radio station everyday.

Taki's head jerked towards the TV. His face flushed a dull brick red and his eyes bulged in anger. With a strangled cry he twisted out of Ma-kun's grasp and hurled the remote control at the screen. It broke open and fell to the floor in a mess of plastic and batteries. He lunged at an abandoned coffee mug on the side table and pitched it at Shindou Shuichi's smiling face. As it exploded in shards, a thin crack snaked across the screen. He kicked the television stand. It toppled, shattering the TV on the floor. He was stomping on the twisted remains when Ma-kun tackled him, driving him into the floor. His head whiplashed into the concrete and pain flared high enough to send stars across his vision. The sound tech hurried out of his booth, saw the commotion and broken television, and rushed for the telephone, punching in Security's number.

"Hey! Hey!" Ma shouted in his face. "Are you fuckin' insane! What's wrong with you? If you --"

"Shut up!" Taki roared hoarsely. "Just shut up, shut up, shut up!" He struggled wildly under Ma-kun and managed to push him off. When Ma-kun moved to restrain him again, he threw a wild punch, connecting with Ma's mouth. Taki straddled Ma and gripped his shirt tight, shaking him. Ma's tongue flicked out and tasted blood on his lips. He stared at Taki in shock.

"I've worked so fuckin _hard_ to get where I am now! Right here, right fuckin now! No one fed me anything from a fuckin silver spoon and coddled me through this fuckin shit business! I sing my throat raw and work my fingers to the bone only to end up behind this lowlife _fuckin talentless scum_ who gets _everything_ for nothing! Motherfucker! Who does he think he is anyway?!"

Taki pulled Ma's shirt closer till their faces were mere inches apart.

"I'll kill that shit, if it's the last thing I do." He pushed Ma away and jumped off. The blond's head hit the floor hard. Just then, burly black-suited men entered and moved towards them. Ma waved them back and they stopped, confused.

"Taki! Oi Taki! Where are you going?!"

The singer had rushed out of the room, unmolested by security.

Ma sat up, rubbing his head. A premonition of doom overcame him as he watched the door slowly swing shut.

- end -

**Author's Note: **Thank you for all the reviews! I am in the process of writing a Tohma x Eiri and Hiro x Shu. Hopefully I pull them off. Reviews are appreciated! Thank you. bows


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